Ornament: Goldilocks and the Three Coats

"This porridge is too hot.
This porridge is too cold.
This porridge is just right."

—Goldilocks

This year I had the idea to make hand-painted ornaments similar to the ones I made in 2016.  I was on the fence about whether I would have time for it.  But then I was out shopping, and Michael's was having a VERY good sale on blank wooden ornaments.  I thought, "What good luck!"... And that made my decision.  

SKETCH

I began with researching Easter egg designs on Pinterest.  And then I sketched a few designs.

Buy Blank Ornaments and Paint

Below are the ornaments and paint I bought at Michael's.

Ornament #1

I sadly didn't take any photos of the painting process of the first ornament.  But below you can see the final design.

After finishing the painting, I stained the wood dark brown.  Then I was ready to add a clear coat.  I went to the basement and found an almost full can of MinWax Polycrylic and an old brush.  I was so excited to finish the ornament.

When I painted the ornament with Poly, my heart sank.  I was so disappointed to see it smeared the design.  It wasn't good. I knew I would have to attempt some very detailed sanding and re-painting, maybe even sand it back down to the wood.

The next day I sanded a fair amount off and touched it up again.  I was in a hurry to get it in the mail before Christmas, so I very lightly painted it again with Polycrylic.  It lightly smeared and I had to do a small touch-up again. F***! (Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!).  But after that, I was able to do more coats.  Below you can see the final ornament.  

Ornament #2

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."
—Henry Ford

For the second ornament, I was determined to do better.  Here you can see a photo of it before staining.  I used both acrylic paint and Posca markers.

Instead of painting the Polycrylic on and risking smearing the paint again, I bought spray Polycrylic.  I figured the brushing was what caused the smearing. Unfortunately, I figured wrong and it was a total disaster.  First of all, I couldn't get the cap off the can.  George happened to pull in the driveway right when I was trying to get the cap off.  We tried together and still couldn't open it.  Finally George took it into the basement to look for a flat-head screwdriver.  As he disappeared into the basement, I had a bad feeling that he would either break the lid, cut himself, or both.

When he came back outside he said, "I broke it."  I said, "I know."  Not only had he broken the lid, but also the tiny white nozzle broke off at an angle.  I quickly resigned myself to another trip to Lowes.  But before I knew it, George tried to press the broken nozzle back on and, lo and behold, the can sprayed!  It was a miracle!

I told him to go ahead and spray it as clear coat was already running over his hand, and I would take a video.  Unfortunately the spray came out heavy and light and then heavy again.  It also bubbled up terribly.  At first I thought maybe all was not lost and hopefully I could sand the bubbles off...or maybe they would pop and disappear.  It was wishful thinking.  The smearing was even worse than last time.  F***!F***!F***!!!

I have to admit, I felt like having a complete meltdown.  Just to complete the painting on one ornament took me, on and off,  about three days.  Even though I know that it is best not to fight with reality, I really struggled inwardly.  Generally, I have improved with accepting reality as it comes...but this was a tough pill to swallow.  Although I didn't have an outward meltdown, inwardly I was fuming, exceedingly frustrated and sad.  I ended up going for a walk and calling a friend.

"Courage doesn't always roar.

Sometimes courage is the little voice

at the end of the day that says,

'I'll try again tomorrow.'" 

—Mary Anne Radmacher   

The next day, I sanded off the smeared sections and started again.  Below you can see the finished ornament.

I also ended up using this ornament for my Christmas email card.  Below you can see three versions.

Ornament #3

The last ornament was painted after Christmas.  I took my time playing with the design.  I knew I wanted to have a bird element in this one.

After I finished painting most of the design, I disliked the flower in the white area.  I let it sit overnight and the next day decided to paint over it.  Below you can see I Photoshopped several designs and ended up going with Option 1.

This time I did plenty of internet research on clear coating Posca pens.  Various sources recommended Krylon Clear Coat.  Weirdly, I had a VERY old can sitting in my guest room.  The can must have been at least 20 years old, so I knew I needed to do a test.  Below you can see my test.  Plus, I also had to destroy the lid to get it open.  What is it with those lids?

But magically, the twenty-year-old can worked beautifully!  I did do a VERY light coat first just to be cautious.  But I was SO relieved!!! 

I partly did this blog post in the hopes that others will not make this same, painful mistake!  NEVER USE Polycrylic on Posca markers!  Use Krylon instead!

Below you can see the third ornament.

If you haven't been able to read all the nitty-gritty of this post, then watch this video.  It summarizes all of the above and has nice music to boot! (Music by Sergio Prosvirini from Pixabay) 

Conclusion

“Your commitment is to action alone, not to the fruits of action." —Bhagavad Gita

I remember the first time I read the above quote I wanted to tell it to "F***-off!"  It seems only human to want to enjoy the fruits of our labors.  At the same time, I know that when I have a strong reaction like this, there is something there for me to look at.  So when my "ornament meltdown" happened, I really struggled to figure out what life was trying to tell me.  Here are a few "stories" I came up with (some "good", some "bad"):

• I need/want to work on letting go of the outcome of my efforts (a la Baghavad Gita).

• I need/want to learn how to deal with frustration.

• It shouldn't be this hard to paint (and seal) a wooden f-ing ornament!
• I attempt really hard things and sometimes they aren't always going to go my way.

• I felt sorry for myself...why do these things always happen to me?

• I need/want to accept reality quicker and with more ease.
• I need/want to have compassion for myself when things don't go my way.

• I am done doing hard things.

• I am a powerful woman who can fix anything.

• I can overcome any obstacle.

• When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

• Can I say yes to extreme frustration?

As all of these thoughts swirled through my head, I could see the stories we tell ourselves are important.  We create our own reality though the stories we tell ourselves.  And as I read back through the above list, I can see some stories might create happier realities.

I also had the thought, "what would Goldilocks have to say about it?"  I suspect she might suggest the theme of finding the middle ground.  It is not healthy to ignore your emotions and pretend that you are not upset that you just lost days of work (reminds me of the Serenity Now episode of Seinfeld).  It's also not healthy to be overwhelmed by emotions of self-pity or frustration.  Perhaps the middle ground of mourning your losses and then getting back to work the next day is the best approach.  (Who knew Goldilocks was a Buddhist?)   

Another possible way of viewing this is through a tantric approach.  It is accepting everything in our lives as grist for the mill.  That means we say yes, yes, and yes again.  It reminds me of a quote from the book, "The Snow Leopard" by Peter Matthiessen.  In the story, they have been searching arduously for months and months for the snow leopard and are exhausted and tired. Someone asks one of the Tibetan porters on the trip a question and his answer is lovely...

"Have you seen the snow leopard?

No, isn't that wonderful?"

I am not sure I will ever get to the point where I won't be motivated by the fruits of my actions.  But I did enjoy the action of painting.  And I did feel some satisfaction that I was able to fix them.  And I did really enjoy holding the final ornaments...feeling their smoothness in my hand and looking at my creation.  (Yes, those fruits can be yummy.)  It also makes me super happy to send a bit of joy out to my friends. 

One thing I can see clearly is that my suffering came from wanting reality to be different than it was.  I would like to have had an easier transition from the reality I wanted to the reality that appeared.  It is not always easy to say yes to what life gives us.  But I do know for sure, life will give me more chances to try. 

"For all that has been, thanks. For all that is to be, yes".
—Dag Hammarskjöld

ADDENDUM:

Two days after I wrote this post I was reading the book "Original Love" by Henry Shukman.  In the second chapter, "Loving Our Obstacles,"  Henry discusses five hindrances to meditation: desire, aversion, dullness, restlessness, and doubt.  When I read the sections about desire and aversion, I felt he was offering a beautiful way of tending these issues.  Could this method also be lovingly applied off the cushion to my "ornament ruination frustration?"

"Is something that feels unpleasant arising?  Check it out.  Scan the body and mind.  Maybe we find discomfort in the heart area, and a painful thought in the mind...Notice unpleasant feelings and a natural aversion to them... We might have a repetitive loop of thoughts going on and wish that they would cease.  That would be aversion.  We shift attention away from the annoying thought-loop and instead seek out the experience of our aversion to it.  We don't bother about the thoughts themselves.  Our interest is not in them but in the wishing that they weren't going on.

We zoom in on the wishing-them-gone.  Once again, we search the chest and solar plexus for telltale signs of contraction or tension or wisps of energy that are uncomfortable.  If we detect something, then we let it be there, whatever it is.  We warmly welcome it.

This is the key step...First, we recognize that something is going on that is disturbing us...Then we check in with the internal space of the body, and see if we can find a sensation associated with that hindrance.  And finally, we welcome the sensation.  

At this point, which hindrance it is and what the sensation is like become less important.  The reason is that as we welcome it—whatever it is—ever more warmly, so our awareness of the welcome grows stronger.  Now the main thing is our welcome.  Whatever it was, we allow it, love it, embrace it, and recognize that we are mortal, vulnerable, and sensitive mammals liable to suffering, who are trying their best, with the understanding and experience they have, to live well.  We welcome ourselves as we are, including with this mental obstacle.  And then our attention can actually shift to the sense of welcome itself, and we can become awash with that welcome, all through our awareness.  We can bask in the lovingness that is a flavor of the welcome."

When I read these words, it became clear to me that shaming ourselves because we don't like what reality is offering (or are resisting reality) is not the answer.  Nor is shaming ourselves because we can't accept reality quickly enough.  On the spiritual path there is often this idea that we should should be so "Zen" that nothing ruffles our feathers.  I think a better way of looking at it is that we lovingly accept that our feathers are indeed ruffled!  We have compassion for ourselves and our predicament.  It doesn't mean we react in anger or frustration, but that we tend (and, if possible, welcome) the sensations in our body and accept that they too are part of the path.  If we have difficulty welcoming them, then we accept that too.  We keep backing up until we accept it all.  We grow our capacity to consciously accept.  We grow our capacity to love.

The mind has likes and dislikes

Awareness accepts everything.

Awareness is unconditional love.  
—Joan Tollifson (lines 1 &2) and Robert Brown (line 3)

"Vajrapani" Wielder of the Thunderbolt Linocut

WIELDER of the THUNDERBOLT

Louder and louder the deep thunder rolled, 

as through the myriad halls of some vast temple in the sky;

fiercer and brighter came the lightning;

more and more heavily the rain poured down...
The eye, partaking of the quickness of the flashing light,
saw in its every gleam a multitude of objects
which it could not see at steady noon in fifty times that period...
in a trembling, vivid, flickering instant, everything was clear and plain:
then came a flush of red into the yellow light;
a change to blue;
a brightness so intense that there was nothing else but light;
and then the deepest and profoundest darkness.
— Charles Dickens

Vajrapani is one of the oldest and most revered bodhisattvas in Buddhism (Source).  He represents the personification of awakened power and fearless energy in service of liberation.  He is not power as domination, but power as clarity, protection, and decisive compassion. 

Historically Vajrapani often appears on painted thangkas for meditation, teaching, and altars.  His image serves as a profound spiritual tool, embodying the energy to dispel ignorance, overcome obstacles, and protect practitioners from negative forces (Source).

Vajrapani's Role

"Holder of the Vajra": His name means "wielder of the thunderbolt," embodying the active, powerful aspect of Buddhahood.

Protector: He guards the Buddha and the Dharma (teachings).

Trinity of Bodhisattvas: He represents power, alongside Avalokiteśvara (compassion) and Mañjuśrī (wisdom). 

Meaning of the Vajra in Vajrapani's Hand

Power & Strength: A thunderbolt scepter (vajra) representing the irresistible force of enlightenment and the Buddha's power.

Dispelling Darkness: Its brilliance cuts through the darkness of delusion, ignorance, and negative emotions.

Indestructibility: It symbolizes the unchanging, diamond-hard nature of ultimate reality and the enlightened path.

Skillful Means: The power to subdue obstacles and forcefully guide beings towards awakening, often shown in his wrathful form.

Protection: It's a weapon against spiritual dangers, making practitioners invincible to attacks from negativity. 


Descriptions of Vajrapani

Wielder of the Vajra (Thunderbolt)

He embodies decisive action.  Where hesitation falters, Vajrapani moves, striking ignorance at its root.

Lord of Secrets

Vajrapani is keeper of esoteric knowledge, not hidden to exclude, but protected until the practitioner is ready to receive it.

Wrathful One

His fierce expression is not anger, but compassion moving at full speed.  Wrath here is urgency, not hatred.

Master of Unfathomable Mysteries

He upholds truth even in the densest darkness, remaining unshaken by fear, confusion, or resistance.

"...even those powers which appear to us terrifying and destructive, or hidden in the darkness of the depth, are as divine as those which we worship as embodiments of light and goodness."

— Lama Anagarika Govinda

SKETCH

When sketching Vajrapani I had to decide which form to draw...peaceful or wrathful.  I chose wrathful.  He is always shown holding a vajra in his right hand, but there were several options for the left hand.  I chose a bell, or ghanta.

While the vajra represents decisive, penetrating force, the bell introduces its counterweight.  In Vajrayana Buddhism, the vajra is often associated with the masculine principle: form, method, action, and skillful means.  The bell, or ghanta, embodies the feminine principle: wisdom, emptiness, and spacious awareness.  One does not dominate the other.  Together, they express wholeness.

Below are the important elements in my drawing with their accompanying meanings:

Vajra

Symbol of indestructible truth and decisive action (masculine).  It cuts through illusion without hesitation.

Bell (Ghanta)

Represents wisdom and emptiness (feminine).  Its sound reminds us that all phenomena arise and dissolve.  In ritual, the bell tempers power with awareness.

Lotus

Purity and awakening arising from the mud of samsara.  Enlightenment without denial of the world.

Flames

Transformative energy.  Fire burns away ignorance, delusion, and obstacles on the path to enlightenment (Source).

Crown of Skulls

Impermanence and the transcendence of ego.  The skulls represent conquered poisons of the mind.

Serpent Around the Shoulders

Awakened primal energy, often associated with wisdom transformed from instinct.

Tiger Skin Around the Waist

Mastery over raw emotion and fear.  The tiger’s ferocity is worn, not fought.

Dynamic Posture

His dynamic stance, often depicted in a semi-lunge or warrior-like pose, embodies energy, readiness, and the unwavering resolve to protect the Dharma and practitioners (Source).

Wrathful Expression

The fierce expression of Vajrapani symbolizes his role as a protector of the Dharma, warding off ignorance and negativity.  The wrath is not malevolent but compassionate, aimed at liberating beings from suffering (Source).

Scarf

Movement and wind energy.  It suggests the unseen forces that carry action into the world.

Complexion

Vajrapani is often depicted with a dark blue or deep azure complexion, symbolizing his vast, boundless nature and connection to the sky and primordial wisdom (Source).

Ceraunoscopy, n.  Divination by thunder and lightning. — The Century Dictionary, 1909

CARVING

This sketch sat around for a couple months as I got distracted by other projects.  The good part about that was every so often I would see it and make a minor improvement.  My schedule finally cleared, and in mid-November I was ready to carve.  I transferred the image to my plate by flipping it over and rubbing the back with a credit card.  Then the carving fun began! 

One of my favorite parts of the process is making these short videos.  This one shows days of carving in a little over a minute.  Turn your volume on! (Music by Vishal Sehgal from Pixabay)

“Girls like her were born in a storm. They have lightning in their souls. Thunder in their hearts. And chaos in their bones.”

― Nikita Gill

Below are a couple images of the plate after I removed the pencil marks.

TEST PRINT

Once the carving is finished it is wise to make a test print before officially printing.  Below you can see my original sketch, the plate, and the test print. 

I almost always make corrections to the plate at this point.  

I spent a day making fidgety corrections and then George helped me print.  Below I am looking very happy because all went well and printing was finished!

I realized Ma's extreme gentleness

and her extreme power

were the same force. 

— Andrew Harvey

BLACK AND WHITE PRINT

I knew this print would need some color to delineate the important elements, but it is always a good sign when I like it even in black and white.  And I felt happy when I saw the first print of Vajrapani staring up at me. 

If we didn't have cats I would dry all my prints on our radiators.  But we do have cats, and I had to use radiators that the cats can't reach.

For these two photos I shooed the cats out of the computer room for a bit because its the only place where the light is good in these darker winter days.

COLOR TEST

I rarely do this step, but I used colored pencil to make a guide before I painted.  This print had a lot going on and I didn't want to mistake a body part for a flame.  I found it very helpful to have this while painting.

Below is a video showing both the printing and coloring process.  (Music by Graham Capstick from Pixabay)

WATERCOLOR

For this print I started with watercolor and then used a few watercolor pencils to darken the color.  My desk is always a mess at this stage.

Below you can see the finished print.

I used metallic watercolor for the vajra, the bell, his jewelry, the lotus, and the tips of his fiery eyebrows.  It was hard to see in the photos, but is a fun touch to see in real life.

FRAME

I had to include a photo of him framed because this frame was weirdly part of my reason for making this piece.  When JoAnn fabrics was having their going-out-of-business sale I came across a three-pack of frames I liked.  I knew it was the perfect size to do a small icon painting and bought them with that intent.  One thing leads to another!

GOLD PRINT

While printing the black and white version I noticed I had quite a bit of gold ink in my supply.  I thought it might be fun to print this on blue paper.

I was happy to find this blue banana paper at Plaza Art and was pleased with how it turned out.

George says they look like prayer flags.

Here is a short video of printing gold Vajrapani. (Music by Ievgen Poltavskyi from Pixabay)

I had a very specific idea in my head how I would frame this one...with dark wood and a gold fillet.  I mocked it up below.

CONCLUSION

She,

In the dark,

Found light

Brighter than many ever see.

She, 

Within herself,

Found loveliness,

Through the soul's own master.

And now the world receives

From her dower:

The message of the strength

Of inner power.

—Langston Hughes

I know some of you might be wondering why I chose Vajrapani as my subject.  After purchasing the frames, I knew I wanted to do a small icon print.  Around this time I was also reading the book, "The Way of the White Clouds" by Lama Govinda.  His book is a spiritual autobiography and travelogue chronicling his travels through Tibet in the late 1940s, capturing the landscapes, monasteries, people, and spiritual atmosphere before the Chinese invasion.

One of my favorite scenes of the book is toward the beginning where he was seeking shelter for the night.  He came across the crumbling ruins of an ancient monastery built into the rocks of a high-walled gorge.  There, he met a small group of lamas who directed him to sleep in a room with a rock wall.  During the night he woke to a powerful and terrifying vision of Vajrapani.  "His body was thick-set and bulky, his feet wide apart, as if ready to jump: his raised, flame-like hair was adorned with human skulls, his right arm stretched out in a threatening gesture, wielding a diamond sceptre (vajra) in his hand, while the other hand held a ritual bell before his chest."  The vision morphs several times from the Buddha, to Vajrapani, to Manjushri, to Tara, to Avalokiteshvara (all great Bodhisattvas).  He is left with a feeling of great awe and joy and wrote, "'Who art Thou, Mighty One, Thou, who art knocking at the portals of my heart?" 

Prayers in the Buddhist sense are not requests to a power outside ourselves and for personal advantages but the calling up of the forces that dwell within ourselves and that can only be effective if we are free from selfish desires.
— Lama Anagarika Govinda

So when I began looking for an image for my print, Vajrapani came to mind.  As soon as I saw his stocky blue body and hair of flames I knew he was a strong contender.  I researched the other boddhisattvas in the trinity of Tibetan Buddhism, Manjushri and Avalokiteshvara, and again felt most drawn to Vajrapani's wrathful image.  In addition, out of the three essential qualities for enlightenment that they represent...power, wisdom, and compassion...I felt I needed some help with the first.  "Powerful" is not a word I think of when describing myself.  So I embarked on a journey to make an image of Vajrapani with the hope that I might learn something about power and myself along the way.  

As you know if you have been following this blog, I do not undertake projects lightly or willy nilly.  And I believe that life has a way of teaching me with each and every project I take on.  I am dead serious when I talk about finding my power.  I believe that we should be careful with our words, our intentions, and our time.  Because where we put our attention is where our life flows.  I don't know where this endeavor will take me, but I am both nervous and excited to see what the Wielder of the Thunderbolt has to teach me about power.  I bow deeply to the Wrathful One and his Unfathomable Mysteries.

"You will have to be very brave, my dear.  The process is no joke."
—Astrid Delleuze       

"Perhaps more than anything, to become Elder is to be comfortable with your place in the world, finally to have understood where all of your various journeys have been leading you, to understand your gifts as well as your limitations, and to tightly focus those gifts on service to the Earth and community.  To become the Elder who can express her wrath rather than her rage, and warn of the dire consequences of ignoring it, is to have stepped fully into your own power as a woman.  To become Elder is to have found the courage to reclaim the moral authority which we once lost.  That reclaiming takes courage, because women have been so very well trained to be afraid -- and it isn't always our impotence which makes us most afraid: it's our power.  We are not accustomed to it, and so we fear its consequences.  To step into your power means to trust yourself, your instincts and your intuition.  To let the fear go, and the shame, and tell the stories which need to be told."
—Sharon Blackie

This print is now available at NessyPress.com.

Folk Stencil Doorstep

"There are doors that feel as though they're leading you,
pulling you, to somewhere enchanting". ―HeartFireAtHome

There are three reasons I began this project.  First, I wanted to get rid of the old, cracked concrete paint that has greeted us for twenty years on our front doorstep.  Second, I wanted the step to match not only the painted lintels of the windows on either side of the door... but also the recently added folk-painted shutters on the second floor dormer windows (click here to see them.) And the final reason is that I have been attempting to make my inner appearance match my outer appearance on all levels of being...I know...a lofty goal.

I have always wanted my house to be a reflection of myself.  When I thought about adding a painted stencil to the entryway, it made me think about doorways and what they mean.  I asked myself the question, "What would a folk-painted doorstep imply to someone entering or exiting my house?"  What came to me was "When you enter this house, you are entering a magical space."  I wanted the step to welcome people into our home and to communicate that you are entering a sacred, enchanting, and delightful abode.

And it occurred to me the same was true in reverse,..."When you are leaving the house and stepping out into the world, you are entering a magical space."  Every time a person leaves the house, the step is a reminder that the world is full of splendor, if one has eyes to see it.  In a sense, the step would be a visual mantra to look for beauty on one's path. You are entering a magical space whether you are coming or going!  

"The door is always a threshold for wonder". ― Unknown

PROCESS

Old Paint Removal

When we bought our house twenty years ago the front porch was covered in old, chipping concrete paint.  Just last year we paid a contractor to remove the paint.  They were not overly successful and did not scrape the entryway step at all.

So, for my birthday this year, George borrowed my neighbor's heated paint remover (thank you Mark) and spent many hot days trying to remove the paint.  It was not easy, but it is one of the best birthday gifts a girl could get IMHO!

PAINTING THE STEP

 I spent A LONG time chatting with the man at Sherwin Williams about the best paint to use.  He told me not to use a primer if people would be stepping on the paint, and to simply use their floor paint straight onto the stone.  One problem we encountered was the floor paint color match was not the greatest.  I took the paint that we used on the lintels and they tried to color match it, but the base used for floor paint was a little different.  You can sort of see in the photo below, the step paint was more "purplely."  I ended up buying two different colors and mixing them to try to remedy the situation.  In the end it worked OK, but I wish I had made more to use to seal the stencils.  I just barely had enough. 

STENCILING

Determine location

The first step was determining the location of the stencil.  I measured the entire step and put the middle flower exactly in the center.  If I had it to do over again, I might have centered the whole thing where the two doors meet, which was slightly different.  In the end no one will notice but me.  But it's something to think about if you are reading this and considering your own project.  Please note my adorable supervisor inside...also, yes, I am wearing my ridiculous mosquito net getup because they were eating me alive!

Base coat

The next step, which is super important, was to paint a layer of the base paint color.  This helps to seal the stencil and prevent leakage of the colors beneath the stencil.  (I have also read you can use Mod Podge for this.)

Thin layers

It is also best to do thin layers of paint.  I did three layers and later learned it is best not to let things sit too long.  Do each layer as soon as the paint dries and then take it off ASAP!

Remove stencil

  Below you can see the first stencil worked fairly well, with only a few spots needing touch-up.

“You who long to step over this threshold, do you know what awaits you?”

― Ivan Turgenev

Clean stencil

I planned the design so that I could flip the stencil around to the left side and line up the flower.  I spent a LONG time scraping the paint off the stencil using an old credit card.  When George got home he said, "You could have just rotated the stencil instead of flipping it over."  I don't know why that hadn't occurred to me.  But as I found out later, it is always a good idea to clean the stencil even if you simply rotate it (or make multiple stencils!).

Rotate stencil

 Here you can see the stencil rotated and ready for the next round of paint layers.

Front stencil done!

I was pretty happy with the way everything went on the front stencil.  There were touch-ups to be done, but overall things went pretty smoothly.

Top Stencil

 After completing the top stencil on the right-hand side I decided to chance it and not clean the stencil before using it on the left-hand side.  

Stencil disaster!

 As you can see below, I had what I would call a stencil disaster.  When I went to remove the stencil it was seriously stuck.  When I tried pulling on it, I could see the paint was stretching the design and even pulling up the base paint!  I was a bit distracted because George was making a video of me pulling it off.  I probably should have stopped sooner and gotten an exacto blade...which I eventually did...but not before causing some damage.  It did help tracing around the edge of the stencil with the exacto knife, but I didn't like cutting through all the layers for longevity reasons.  Any time you create an opening you are creating a space for water or dirt to get under your paint.  I wasn't sure if the cause was not cleaning the stencil or leaving it on too long or a combination of the two.  You really can't see how bad it was from the photo below.  

I was also worried the whole darn thing was going to peel off.  When we lived in Houston we painted our kitchen cabinets with acrylic paint.  It turned out the cabinets were originally painted with oil paint, and it all just peeled off the next day.  That memory kept terrorizing me.  To keep it at bay I decided to forge ahead with my touch-ups, shown below.

VIDEO

Below is a short video of the entire project from start to finish.  It is quite satisfying to watch the stencil being removed.  Turn your volume on! (Music by Hung Tran from Pixabay)

Polyurethane

Because of the stencil disaster, I made sure to seal the whole thing with polycrylic.  Hopefully this will keep any water or dirt from getting under the stencil where I might have cut it with the exacto knife.

FINISHED

It is super satisfying to compare the before and after photos below.  As you can see by my decorations, summer turned into fall during this project.  

“Once you cross the threshold,
you will never be the same.
That is a fact.”
― Kamal Ravikant

I'm not sure how well you can see below, but the front step now matches the shutters!

“You come to these thresholds in your life where you need to remember
why you do what you do, to reconnect with yourself.”
— Neneh Cherry 

There always comes a point in every project where things get "a little rough"...in this case "a little sticky."  I have to admit I had a meltdown when I thought the whole thing might peel off.  I was frustrated and I remember saying to myself, "I am tired.  I am tired of doing hard things.  Why do I always choose difficult things?"  I think it is an important point to ponder.

My sister reminded me that I love to create beauty.  And its true, I am always on the lookout for beauty and joy in this world...and it feels like a deep calling to create both in whatever project I am working on.  Why?  I think it's a way of reconnecting with who we really are at the core of our being.  These projects are a way of bridging the inner and the outer.  The process might not always be easy...but through the overcoming of obstacles and the very act of creation we come to know ourselves one small step at a time.  We come to realize we are joy...we are beauty itself.  

"The purpose of craft is not so much to make beautiful things,
 as it is to become beautiful inside while you are making those things."

―Susan Gordon Lydon

A big thank you to my husband George who always encourages and supports my crazy projects.  Also, thank you to Mark for loaning us your heated paint-removing tool.  And thank you to Tiffany and Brian for cutting the stencils!