Faith In A Seed: Solo Exhibition

FAITH IN A SEED

At the end of April I opened my first solo, "Faith In A Seed," at the Weavers Guild of Cincinnati.  The day was truly magical.

When I arrived the exhibition committee was busy setting up the food which was not only beautiful but delicious!

THE TALK

When I walked out to give my talk and saw my friends and family filling the room to capacity, it made me want to cry.  I felt so supported in that moment and I want to thank every person who came out.  I truly felt the love!

I was both nervous and excited to give my talk.  I haven't had to speak in public in a long time and was a bit rusty.  I planned my talk so that I could ease into it by reading this wonderful quote that encapsulated the whole theme of my talk.

I then moved on to my first question, "Why embroider paper?"  The short answer to that question was that Barbara Moss, the head of the Exhibition Committee, contacted me last September and asked me if I wanted to have a solo show.  I, of course, answered, "Yes."  She then said they had seen a piece I had embroidered into at the Kennedy Heights Arts Center a year ago and "could I make new work that would have embroidery?"  I said yes and that is the short answer to why I made five new pieces with embroidery.

But I have long been interested in combining different materials in my work.  And when I looked back I could see the roots of this in cards that I had embroidered for my family for various occasions.  The brown and pink Valentine's Day card at the top shows how I was starting to become interested specifically in how printed paper can interact with embroidery.  Plus, I had to admit, I just think it looks cool!

I also told a short story that while in college in the 90s I was employed at Cox Arboretum in Dayton.  And one of my first assignments on the job was to pick a quote and put it on the bulletin board.  I remember choosing the quote below and I think it has been working on my psyche ever since!

I believe that my whole life has indeed changed from noticing the miracle of a single flower, acorn cap, or seed pod.  In the talk I described how this idea of finding the miraculous in the mundane has been a theme that has pervaded my work from day one until the present... and is indeed the purpose behind all of my work.

The next portion of the talk was describing the process I went through to make the new embroidered work.  I used the "Buddha Seeds" as my example and showed videos of each step.  I am going to write a blog post about each piece, so if you are interested in the process, it is coming soon!

ARTIST STATEMENT

During my talk I described how each piece took me on quite a journey.  There were amazing highs and some real low points.  But every single time I learned something more about myself.  Even while working on my artist statement for the show I had a major epiphany.  I had written the bulk of the statement a couple weeks prior to the show and in it I kept using metaphors related to seeds.  I described how a seed was planted in me and how that seed grew and produced flowers and fruit.

The last week before the show I kept fussing with the wording of my artist statement.  I would think I was finished and would save the "final" jpg and send it off to the committee chair.  Not only that, but I would print it out and mount it to foam core for the show.  I probably did it five times thinking I was finished (and had to go buy more foam core!)  But days before the show I had a major realization that I had to include in the final sentence.  Here is the statement in its entirety (see below image for legible words).

"It is not lost on me that my favorite subjects (plants and their seed pods) are symbols of fertility.  And that my artistic journey began ten years ago after my struggle with infertility.  When I look back on that now I don’t think it is a coincidence.  My “descent” into infertility was a very real walk into the darkness.  Sometimes the path was excruciatingly painful.  Spending years in the dark, you get to know it well.  I was desperate to end my suffering and coming from an academic background I asked myself, “Who knows about suffering?”  In my mind, the answer was “The Buddhists do!”  I threw myself into studying suffering and how to end it.  I read book after book.  What I didn’t know then was that a seed was planted in that darkness…a seed that began to grow.

I wouldn’t have put it this way at the time, but my lack of fertility success gave me the gift of time.  It allowed me to investigate my interest in three things: spirituality, plants, and printmaking.  My intense study of suffering/healing/self-help eventually led me to a meditation retreat that changed my life.  I sat for days in the darkness of my closed eyelids.  And through some miracle of fate, I found something in that darkness that was so achingly beautiful I am forever and profoundly altered.  Sitting in that dark, rich silence I discovered a light in me that I never knew existed and to this day brings tears to my eyes. When I returned home, I quit all my paying jobs and very soon began working on my printmaking full-time. 

I became obsessed with plants, particularly the structure of seed pods.  I would go on long walks and would stumble across an acorn cap or dried seed pod.  I loved photographing them.  Often when I would get home and look at the photos close-up, I would be left in awe.  Their forms are miraculous and yet we all walk by them every day and don’t even notice!  I knew I wanted to enlarge the images and make prints to draw attention to their incredible beauty. 

And every single print I made took me on quite a journey.  Printmaking is a long, drawn-out process for me.  I would spend a week on the sketch, a month on the carving, and depending on the number of colors, another one to four weeks printing.  Each print would offer up unique challenges.  By the time the final print was pulled, I would know each plant’s curves, nooks, and crannies intimately.  When I completed each print, I would finally sit down to write the blog post.  And I could see the plant and the print were my greatest teachers.  As I was working on the “Chinese Lantern” image of a seed in its spherical “cage” I found it was teaching me about having good, protective boundaries.  Or when I would have a rough day printing, I learned about self-care, tenacity, and the balance between the two.  And when making design decisions I learned to listen to my intuition.  I would often find interesting connections and synchronicities that I could not have imagined existed.  One time I was working on a print of a seed pod to represent Women’s Suffrage.  I selected an image of a pod online to use as a reference and later found it was from a “She Oak” tree (that became the title of the piece). Or I would put the image of the Buddha on a seed husk and find out there is a centuries old term that describes it perfectly (Tathagatagharbha!). 

When I was asked to create new work for the Weavers Guild show with embroidery, I loved the challenge.  At first, I focused on finding plants that might naturally lend themselves to adding threads.  And then I realized another theme was presenting itself.  To convey the idea that one can find the miraculous in the mundane, I started incorporating “mystical” elements into the pieces.  Whether you call it magic, the divine, the mystery, Buddha-nature, God, or simply life, there is something astonishing happening here!  In every leaf, petal, seed and flower it is there!  Indeed, the more I look, the more I find!  It is my hope the viewer senses the magic woven into these pieces…and recognizes this golden thread that surrounds and connects us all.

Ten years ago a seed was planted in the darkness.  It wasn’t the seed I wanted or expected.  But the seed has grown, flowered and produced fruit.  It has taken me on a journey from, “This is the worst thing that ever happened to me... to the best thing.”  I am so very thankful for this exact journey and grateful I don’t control everything.  I can see now that creativity comes from emptiness, that my suffering led to inexplicable joy, and that “the design” is created by both light and dark.  I have learned to have faith in life itself... and I have learned to have faith in a seed.  I finally realized, that seed is me...that seed is me."

 

“I have great faith in a seed.

Convince me that you have a seed there,

and I am prepared to expect wonders.”

— Henry David Thoreau

I was a bit anxious about sharing all of that with everyone.  But for some reason I feel compelled to start making my outside look more like my inside.  It is a scary thing to be so vulnerable, but I think this life is about trying to be "me" to the fullest extent I can.  A bird is singing right now outside my window, and it makes me think that we all have our unique song and we are all deeply longing to sing.

PHOTOS OF SHOW

Tathagatagargha

I was so enjoying myself talking to everyone at the show that I completely forgot to take pictures!  So most of these photos are from family and friends (thank you Mark, Mary, Dad, Jenny, Katie's Mom, and George).

Milkweed, Columbine

Passionflower, Teasel

I plan on featuring each new piece in a blog post and will be adding them to my website with each blog post.

Barbara, the exhibition chair, asked me if I had any frame holders to hold my cards up.  I looked around the house and couldn't find any.  But then I found the perfect card holder in these old seed pods and it made me weirdly happy.

 

All the prints in this post are now available on my website, NessyPress.com.

THANK YOU

A big thank you to the Weavers Guild for hosting the show and asking me to go on this journey.  I also want to thank Jenny Thacker for loaning me her "She Oak" print at the last minute and for being such a supportive friend.  My Dad also loaned me his "Weaver" print for the show.  He not only loaned me his truck to transport it, but he wrapped it up so well it was like Ft. Knox trying to open it! Thank you for your love and support Dad!  I also want to thank my Mom who is my biggest supporter.  My Mom owns more prints of mine than anyone else in the world and she has no more wall space in her house!  Thank you Mom!

I also wanted to especially thank those who purchased prints.  It made me feel like all that hard work was worth it and literally helps support me and the work. 

And finally I want to thank my husband George without whom none of this work would not be possible.  He also kept me VERY well fed throughout the months and put up with A LOT of, "I need your opinion or help or shoulder to cry on."  His patience, encouragement, and love has helped water, nurture and tend this seed that is me and I couldn't have a better partner on this crazy journey.  Thank you.